In a world obsessed with matrimonial bliss, Shortlotte B stood as a defiant outlier, a thorn in the side of societal norms.

“When are you getting married?” was a question she heard more often than her favorite 90s hit by those five handsome boys, who were always wondering why it ain’t nothing but a heartbreak! To everyone’s bewilderment,

Shortlotte treated marriage like a dentist appointment – necessary for some, avoidable for her.

One fine, otherwise uneventful Tuesday, Shortlotte hatched a plan. If society wanted a wedding, she’d give them one – with a twist!

She sent out invitations for “The Grand Unwedding of Shortlotte B.”
Dress code? Anything but white!
Venue? Her modest, rent-controlled apartment.

The event promised “an unforgettable evening of anti-nuptials.”

The day arrived.
Guests shuffled in, their expressions a mix of confusion and curiosity. The living room was decorated with banners reading “Congratulations on Not Conforming!!!” and “Here’s to the Singles!!!” In one corner, a tower of takeaway pizza boxes stood proudly – the “wedding cake.”

Shortlotte, dressed in her finest pajamas, greeted her guests with the air of royalty attending a ball. “Welcome to my unwedding! Feel free to mingle, but no talk of plus-ones, diaper brands, or mortgage rates, okay?”

The evening was a hit. Friends raised their glasses, toasting Shortlotte’s fierce independence and her unmatched skill in microwaving single-serve dinners, while laughing over their collective misadventures in adulting.

As the night drew to a close, Shortlotte stood to give her own speech. “Thanks, everyone, for turning up to my little act of rebellion. You know, the only aisles I’m walking down are in the supermarket – hunting for the perfect snacks, and maybe the occasional airplane aisle for those much-needed getaways. So here’s to the joys of sprawling across the whole bed, being the sole ruler of the remote, and living one unscripted life!”

The guests erupted in cheers, raising their glasses to Shortlotte, the maverick who turned societal expectations into a celebration of individuality.

As everyone left, they agreed it was the best non-wedding they’d ever attended – not that they had attended any others before. Shortlotte, now a legend among her peers, smiled to herself. She had turned the most dreaded question into a night of joyous rebellion.

And in her silent apartment, with only Gattino as her witness, Shortlotte raised a glass to her reflection. “Here’s to us, the happily un-hitched. May our lives be as full and unpredictable as a TV series with no finale in sight.”

If Facts and Stats Were Done by Me, Shortlotte B:

• Pajama Popularity: A survey says 9 out of 10 people prefer attending parties in pajamas. The 10th person just hasn’t tried it yet.
• Non-Traditional Wedding Savings: Hosting an unwedding saves an average of 100% of traditional wedding costs, not including the emotional savings from avoiding awkward family dances.
• Single Life Satisfaction: Studies show that singles are 75% more likely to control their own TV remotes and have uninterrupted access to the entire bed.
• Unwedding Trend Forecast: Experts predict a 50% rise in unwedding parties in the next decade, as more individuals choose to celebrate life on their own terms.

Catch ya on the flip side, misfits!✌️ – Shortlotte B